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TBL Sure Knows His Literature
The word “Orwellian” is typically associated with a grim view of of society’s future as told by George Orwell in his opus, 1984. Once again, TBL is confused.
It’s a bit Orwellian, but most of the folks who “own” their house now, simply don’t. The house ends up owning its debt-ridden tenants.
We can assure you that the book has nothing to do with possessions and how they can come to possess their possessors.
It’s actually about a distopian society run by an all-powerful goverment whose secretive and iron-fisted regime would make the Soviet Union look like a shining beacon of democracy.
Perhaps TBL is under the impression that Orwell also wrote Fight Club, because this concept is downright Palahniuk-ian.
If you want to be such a faux-intellectual you could at least try a little bit harder.
TBL Cliffhanger Alert!
TBL just continues to ensure that we will never run out of content:
Our regular political contributor, Jon Schnaars, might have to hand in a tardy recap tomorrow, but just as a heads up, there will be a discussion of all things Texas and Ohio Wednesday morning.
Sadly, I don’t think he’s talking about covering the Nebraska-Texas or Purdue-Ohio State basketball games.
Prediction for tomorrow’s political discussion: “So, Texas and Ohio had primaries, smart move? Anyone surprised by the results? Find them fishy? Anyone out there not in love with Obama?”
Today In Stupid Fucking Questions
TBL may not have many skills, but one area where he excels is asking stupid fucking questions. All the time. Seriously, his stupid fucking questions are in just about every one of his posts.
So, let us take a look at today’s brain-busters…
how is this dollar/oil situation not worrying anyone?
Yes, we’re all very concerned about paying an extra nickel each time we fill up, and our apologies for not alerting you to all of our economic/political concerns on your SPORTS blog. Thank you, TBL, for being the political consciousness of a sporting nation.
Where do you people find these photos?
Google.com. I know, I know, it’s like two more steps than just hitting the “inbox” button, so you’ve certainly never tried it out. But just so you know, TMZ isn’t the only place where you can find photos.
Creatively massaging the salary cap is practically an art, but does it surprise anyone that of the QBs in the $100 million club - Big Ben, Peyton Manning, Brett Favre, Carson Palmer, Donovan McNabb and Michael Vick - Tom Brady isn’t on the list, even though he’s won as many Super Bowl titles as the other six guys combined?
…
Roethlisberger has obviously established himself as one of the premiere QBs in the NFL, and he is a deity in the Steel City, but is it really wise to sink all of that money into one player, when the Steelers just lost their best offensive lineman, and the Browns and Bills - two teams on the cusp of the playoffs last season - improved their rosters so significantly in the last week?
Does it surprise anyone that TBL has become so good at writing run-on sentences and asking stupid fucking questions every single day that he’s managed to combine the two on a somewhat regular — yet still not quite frequently enough for our liking — basis?
Where are we going with this?
Actually, that doesn’t belong here. That’s, in fact, the smartest fucking question TBL’s asked today.
And, finally, today’s “anyone?” montage:
Anyone Out There Not Love UCLA? … Georgetown, anyone? … Anyone find this fishy? ..
TBL Knows His Hoops!
Oh wow, there’s been so much crap to slog through, so we’ll just start here…
Are the 76ers just a good post-player away from the playoffs in the East?
Nothing says “I have no clue what I’m talking about but I’d like to make it seem as if I do” like one of those nonsensical open-ended questions.
Hey TBL, who in the East ISN’T a good post-player away from the playoffs? Hell, the Sixers have a decent shot at making it even without one.
After a strong end to last season, a poor draft set them back a bit.
Thaddeus Young thinks you are brain damaged.
We’d like to see Philly make a move on Indiana’s DJ White
Only in the world of TBL could DJ White be the answer for an NBA team in need of a dominant post presence. TBL still can’t believe Ryan Gomes isn’t starting at center for a playoff contender.
And now, a lesson in writing from the blogosphere’s most outstanding writer…
Twenty-four hours after dropping an OT thriller in LA, the Mavs ran out of gas down the stretch as the Jazz went on a 16-0 run and were a perfect 18-for-18 from the line in the fourth quarter in upping the best home record in the NBA to 25-3.
That’s one long sentence, but hey, at least it’s got flow!
Don't Blame Him, the Inbox Is Empty!
Having to work when you’re sick is pretty crappy, but I’m not sure that it excuses abject laziness. But you aren’t TBL…
Yes, it’s another photo of Romo and Simpson. We’re too sick to poke around, and the links to famous hot famous chicks have not exactly been flowing into our inbox today.
I had no idea how taxing it must be to troll the internet looking for pictures of attractive women to dress up another link dump.
What’s really notable about the “PM Roundup” is how few blogs are actually linked. But don’t blame TBL, blame yourself for not emailing him all of the best stuff on the internet every day.
Hey TBL, take five minutes and set-up an RSS for yourself. This should be a nice compromise given your affinity for receiving everything you read via email and your distaste for reading actual sports blogs.
Now go get yourself some chicken soup and your favorite fluffy slippers, because you deserve a break.
Breaking News From TBL
At 3:16 AM on Wednesday morning (so, two and a half days ago) there was a story in the Dallas Morning News about a Rangers pitcher getting in trouble for blogging, blah, blah, blah … you know the details because, as I said, it’s from two and a half days ago.
Well, guess who just posted it like it’s news (I’ll give you a hint: His name starts with “T,” ends with “L” and I think there’s a “douche” in there somewhere). This officially makes TBL the 14th blog to post the story (this only counts those registered with BallHype).
In other news, we landed on the moon!
Also, some sweet, sweet irony from this same post:
“Curt Schilling needs to give Rangers pitcher CJ Wilson a crash course on how to blog.”
I’d like to think this site is TBL’s crash course on how to blog.
TBL Cliffhanger Alert!
“Richard Deitsch with an interesting look at ESPN’s Bob Knight acquisition, which we plan on writing more about next week.”
Oh, you fucking dick tease, you. We have to wait until next week for you to ask, but never actually answer, pressing questions such as “Do we like this hire for ESPN?” and “We think Bob Knight is overrated as a coach, anyone?”
Fuck! How am I supposed to enjoy my weekend now, living in such anticipation?! That’s it, I’m going home, taking four cow tranquilizers and hibernating until Monday morning.
Pretending you know anything about pop culture has to get tiring
Stephen Ireland, a soccer player for Manchester City, made a fine selection with the Range Rover, but what he did to the rest of it easily gives him the weakest high-end ride in all of sports. That includes the world, universe, and solar system.
* The 20s was a guesstimate - they may be 24s. But if Funk Flex catches wind of this, he’s going to totally clown this chap.
The number of things wrong with the second paragraph here is almost too mind-boggling to dissect. But let’s start with the word “guesstimate,” which, if I may guesstimate, is used exclusively by unimaginitive d-bags. Second, pretending you have any clue what size rims some guy in Ireland is rocking is actually worse than just admitting you’re clueless. And third, Funk Flex? This is your reference for urban car culture?
Be honest: You’re really Peter King under there, aren’t you?
What Did TBL Steal Today?
Actually, it wasn’t totally creditless, TBL — of course — says a “reader sent in this video”:
Let’s see, where could this “reader” have found this video? Maybe in FanHouse earlier this morning? Or could it have been on Sports By Brooks EIGHT HOURS ago? Or perhaps from the site of some tiny, local sports news affiliate called The Big Ten Network?
Abe Froman: Sausage King of Dallas
“Just like Ferris Bueller did, they’re dancing in the streets in Dallas.”
Call me crazy, but I think those tall buildings are in Chicago:
